Iman Baber Senior Reflection

The culmination of my high school experience doesn’t feel like a satisfying closing. More like an awkwardly placed semicolon or question mark where a period should have gone.

Don’t worry, there was definitely the good. But there was the bad, too. There were tears: my confidence in my physical appearance wasn’t exactly one hundred. I learned a lot of horrible truths about our world. There was chest-tightening stress, so much so that I once googled “Am I having a heart attack?”. I cried all the time working on my college applications, telling myself that nothing I had accomplished would be enough.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like a proper ending because I thought I would have it all figured out by now.

I am so fortunate to say that I will be attending one of my dream universities in the fall. It hasn’t really dawned on me yet, though. I’ve spent the entirety of high school yearning to one day reach the position I am in now, convincing myself that once I achieve “Congratulations”, all my insecurities will magically disappear and I can finally let myself be unconditionally happy. But, my insecurities and anxiety are still there.

There are always ways you can grow. I know for me it is this: learning how to deal with my anxiety. It is teaching myself to abandon the mindset that I somehow have to earn being calm, happy, or doing things that I enjoy. And if there’s one piece of advice I can give my readers, it’s to do the same. Work hard, but don’t punish yourself with it. The path to achieving your goals does not have to be miserable. Also, don’t wait too long to realize this, because anxiety takes a physical toll on your body.

Take care of yourself, take time to breathe, and be proud of what you’ve accomplished, because we can’t spend the short time our lives give us hating who we are.